I'm coming at you with a play list full of Kings of Leon, Brandon Flowers and Ed Sheeran (my 3 new favorite artists!) and washed clean from a refreshing shower. For this post, you may thank that shower. I've come to realize that most of my best ideas come to me while I'm in that 20 minutes of almost scorching hot down pour of relieving goodness, in fact, I pretty well wrote this whole post in my head while taking my sweet, precious time scrubbing clean. I've even managed to give you all an excuse to stay in the shower extra long! Next time someone says something about you taking too long, just simply let them know you're taking that extra 10 minutes to let your creative juices flow! Mentally, not physically I would hope.
Anyways, back on topic. When I first started writing this I warned you all that I was never any good at committing to a journal/diary when I was young and this may very well turn out to be the same. So far, I'll toot my own horn and say I'm doing pretty good. No commitment issues when it comes to writing. That could be a very good sign considering I'm thinking about making this a permanent life choice.
Three paragraphs in and you may be wondering where these commitment issues lie, since that is the title and all. Well, as of early this year there were certain circumstances that opened my eyes a lot, made me think and at times over think situations. Since then, I've had an extremely hard time committing to things. School, people, cities. When I first came to Calgary it was set in stone, this is where I would set up camp for the next 3 years while I got my diploma in Journalism at SAIT. Now, after two months of being here I'm not entirely sure. A few years back, I lived in the lower mainland for a couple months and while I'm sure I didn't give it half the chance it deserved, I never thought I'd want to go back, until now. I can't even really say what made me consider diverting from what seemed like the ultimate plan. I mean, Calgary is a beautiful city but then so is Vancouver. Is it possible to relate to a city? Perhaps fit in more to the atmosphere? While there's talk about how Calgary is becoming more diverse, Vancouver has been diverse for years. Vancouver is such an eccentric city, touching all sorts of people with creativity and opportunity to really fulfill much more then oil and money from the land which is more what Calgary provides. Two beautiful landscapes so different in what they offer. Everything deserves a chance, (in Vancouver's case, a second chance!) so I applied for school down there. Kwantlen offers a diploma in Public Relations which to be brutally honest, if I get into both I'd probably go to Kwantlen strictly for that program. That is mainly what I was wanting most out of the Journalism program, this way I'd have a chance to specialize in PR work.
My mom says I was born a gypsy and as cool as that sounds is that really what I want? I want to settle. Eventually find a place and people that are worth sticking around with for a while. The other day a friend told me, "I think we are in the place of our lives where us moving around and doing different jobs is what we need to figure out what we really want", which is so true and probably the best advice I've been given in a while. I need to do this, move around, experiment and who knows, when the time comes maybe I'll find something worth committing to. Until then, wish me luck!
Sincerely,
small town girl taking on the big city.
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